Two years ago I signed up to WordPress, my goal to write about the amazing fairytale that I had entered. I had been re-introduced to my first love by one of my oldest friends and my life was turned upside down. I never got round to starting it…
Two years later, after my nightmare ended, after my fairytale became a horror story and I was nearly destroyed, I started to write…
My life! My Way! was born!
I didn’t know what I was doing, what I wanted to say or even why that day, one of my darkest, I started drumming my fingers in tune to the mess that was my mind. But I knew that to carry on with life, I had to do things my way!
The journey which began four months ago, could never have prepared me for what was to come. When I look back I can see every step, every painful step, every tear, every frustration, every dark moment and every smile. And I have shared that even though at times it scared me so much.
My fear? That my past would catch up with me….. and it did!
To the future from the past began!
Why? From a teenager I wrote diaries, I poured out my thoughts, my feelings, my hopes and my dreams and this is my reminder of the lessons I should have learnt, which I only recognised when I read back in time. And my lesson? My lesson is that only when you truly listen do you really hear.
My tag line? ”always be true to who you are and please never forget me”. This is my reminder that I still have a whole life to live and to be true to who I am will always take courage.
To the future form the past is a life backwards, as My life! My Way! is a life forwards.
But this is also the place I write when I have my dark days, the days when I am at my most creative, the days when I have to hide from the world, when life is overwhelming and I need to be alone.
But I did not stop there! I could not stop there!
Nope I went on to create Life through a Lens!
And why? Because one day my sparkle will burn out and the beauty of life is what I will miss most of all. The stories, history, the people, the bubbling sound of children’s laughter, the colours of a rainbow, rain cascading from the heavens, sunshine on an Autumn day, the first flutter of snow, the crash of waves against charcoal cliffs ….. all a reminder that life will go on when I am no more.
So armed with camera, I am attempting to find a new way of expressing who I am and what I see. It stops me from shutting myself away and staying in the safety of the world I have created, but I can still hide behind the lens of a camera.
And did I stop? No! I then used blogging as a way of writing reports for Raising Aspirations, a programme I developed, and am now in the process of redeveloping, aimed at working with young girls who have disengaged with education.
So coming to the end, I return to the beginning…. because when you come to the end, you just have to beat a new path, a path that beats in time with your heart.
Inspired by: Daily Prompt: All About Me