I think of the dark as a cloak of velvet, swept across my life in shades of the deepest darkest Indigo through to Midnight to Ebony. A cloak made with the smoothest of strokes by the softest sable brush on the canvas of the cold, crisp night sky. A sky with the sprinkling of the brightest stars so far away but almost close enough that with the briefest moment of belief you could reach up and touch.
My dark is my comfort, it is my safety, it does not scare me, it envelopes me and wraps its arms around me. My dark will not let me go and I will hold on until the dawn arrives.
And my dawn?? My dawn, my freedom! My freedom was going into the bright summer sunshine from a dark, dusty room. That warm sunshine at first blinding, scary and disorientating. The longing to return to the dark, the desire to be alone ebbed through my very core and my broken soul cried out that the light was a risk….. I could not see but others could.
And the pity in their eyes, the not knowing what to say, how to treat me, like I would shatter into a million pieces with the slightest breath of a word.
And so you stumble around and are not always sure which way to go or where the path starts. You are never sure of who to trust, who to believe or who is your friend. That is when you need someone to hold you up and guide you until you can focus and start to see clearly, because whilst that light is so bright and welcoming at the same time if you are not careful something or someone will trip you up!
And everyone will watch it happen! The light will show up what would not be seen during the darkest of nights!
But then there is the light with it’s rainbow of colour, the warm of the sun after the cold of the night, the sounds of the day after the silence of the night and the radiant glow of life.
And I smile! I smile because every day is a gift and an opportunity to love anew. So look around you, see the beauty of life and make every moment count, say I love you often and smile because smiling is a gift that can be freely passed to another.
And tomorrow?? Tomorrow I am going to learn to play the guitar…..