Waiting won’t make it happen!

waiting wont make it happenThis week has been a battle!  A struggle to understand what is happening.  This week has been lonely!  This week has been dark!  A war I cannot win!  This week has been …………. me feeling sorry for myself!!!

The beginning??  When I started http://tothefuturefromthepast.wordpress.com – my life backwards!

Emotions, I never knew existed, swamped me threatening to drag me back down into the darkest recesses of my mind.  Anger! Injustice! Pain! Unfairness!  Tears took over my nights as I moved back in time.  Agony as I began to relive the past through new eyes.

Withdraw!  Rebuild the walls!  Protect yourself!  Walk away!

And then wait!  Wait for life to get better!  Wait for life to come to you!  Stay here where you are safe and wait!

But waiting won’t make it happen!

So today??  Today I am fighting back!  Today I am using that anger and that pain to arm myself against the conflict raging inside my head.

Today is a day of action!  Today I wait no more!

Today I smile because today I have a chance that so many people never get.  Today is a day I can start again!

And tomorrow??  Tomorrow I will look back at today and smile…….

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